Actually, it’s not so much like the Force as it is the Schwartz.
Colonel Sandurz: But your ring! Don’t you have the schwartz too?
Dark Helmet: No, he got the up side. See, there’s two sides to every schwartz. He got the up side, I got the down side.
Let me just say right now: I love Youtube. Every time I see my cable TV bill, I have a little moment where I seriously ask myself why I’m still paying for it. As a child of the Eighties, Youtube is my MTV; it is everything that MTV could have been if, back in the early 90s, someone took a real stand for humanity and said “The Real World, huh? Get the fuck out.” Did you know that MTV still plays videos? They do. Finding them is a little like trying to find your cell phone after you’ve dropped it into that toilet from Trainspotting, but they actually do show videos for a half-hour or so each day. Let’s just say they don’t, it’s easier. But Youtube isn’t just that. It’s also my go-to for my Holy Shit That’s Funnier Than I Remember It Being, my What the Fuck Is Going On Here, the list goes on without the slightly icky feeling of reading a TV Guide. I fucking love it.
Look… there’s a song out there by someone named “Peaches”. The song is called, well, “Fuck The Pain Away”. Now, I’d never heard it before. I’d never even heard of it before. But if you’re going to hear a song called “Fuck The Pain Away”, you might as well hear Miss Piggy sing it, because really, life is too short. Youtube provided this to me the other day. NSFW, obviously.
Youtube has also made available some incredibly clever independent shorts, like here and here, things that you wouldn’t ever find on the ol’ (and it is old, like sagging) boob tube. And to top it off, it singlehandedly made Rick Astley a household name again! So you could say that Youtube is kinda like the Force in that it is truly awesome in many ways. Like this:
Yes, the Star Wars prequels may have been the cinematic equivalent of two midgets having rough sex on your favorite R2-D2 bedsheets, but when it comes to Yoda kicking ass, well… are you going to choose the majestically boring sight of Luke’s X-wing gliding through a smelly bog from Empire or the spastic green fury of Episodes II & III? So there’s your up side.
But there’s always a down side. Yin and yang, light and dark, good and bad, plain and with almonds. Having a nice green lawn but having to spend more money dumping water on it. Being a fan of Jeremy Irons but having to deal with him showing up in stuff like Dungeons & Dragons. Or, my new favorite example, eating a South American fruit called a cherimoya. Some people liken the flavor to a combination of banana, pineapple, and strawberry, or even bubble gum. Doesn’t that sound awesome? But the seeds are poisonous, and the skin can apparently cause paralysis for up to five hours.