Archive for internet

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the con

Posted in internet with tags , on May 31, 2008 by Gena Radcliffe

First the Open Source Boob Project, now this: a young writer named Rachel Moss attended WisCon, a sci-fi fan convention marketed towards the feminist/pagan crowd, and proceeded to do a right cunty hatchet job on it for Something Awful, complete with covertly taken photographs so she could illustrate how OMG LOL FAT FAT FATTY many of the convention-goers were. The internet then proceeded to implode.

Something Awful, if you’ve never visited it, is sort of a catch-all entertainment/humor/pop culture/all things geek website. It aspires to be a combination of FARK and the Onion, with a success rate that’s hit or miss at best. Its reader-based forums, however, are soul-destroying quagmires of racism, sexism and homophobia. It’s like being stuck in a portable toilet with a bunch of frat boys, spend more than a couple minutes in one and you’ll be longing for someone, anyone to post a picture of Goatse. It’s unclear whether Moss did the post on assignment from SA (the original is no longer available but there are enough excerpts of it floating around the web to get the general gist of it) or took it upon herself, but it’s fairly clear that she went to WisCon, which advertises itself as being both fat and GLBT-positive, for the sole purpose of taking a big steaming dump on it in the name of lulz, as the kids say. The shooting fish in a barrel method of writing humor is a bit lazy and simple, and yet somehow Moss manages to make it profoundly unfunny. Let’s face it, while it’s commonly believed that all you have to do is say the word “fat” and the jokes just write themselves, it actually never was the most brilliant source of laffs in the world, and is now just boring. Making fun of fat people is for amateurs, like middle school kids and Larry the Cable Guy. Yet she somehow fumbles the rest of her source material as well. Observing a panel discussion on the future of feminism where one of the speakers calls herself Moondancer, Moss instead aims her vitriol at Moondancer’s nine year-old son, referring to him as a “little pussy,” presumably for no other reason than he’s being raised in a feminist household. While sitting in on a panel about polyamory, a topic where the jokes really do write themselves, she instead snidely makes mention that one of the speakers has “[the fake disease] fibromyalgia.” She is baffled and irritated by a transgendered speaker simply because he identifies himself as a male, yet is still sexually attracted to other men. There are also a few vaguely racist remarks that I won’t sully this fine publication by repeating. And of course, there’s endless amounts of fat bashing, none of it funny, while Moss hammers the final nail into her komedy koffin by making sure in the middle of all this “fat people with their fat bodies and their fatness” wanking to point that she herself is not, in fact, part of the plus-size contingency. Continue reading

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Why Youtube is like the Force

Posted in internet, pop culture with tags , , , on May 23, 2008 by ejd

Actually, it’s not so much like the Force as it is the Schwartz.

Colonel Sandurz: But your ring! Don’t you have the schwartz too?
Dark Helmet: No, he got the up side. See, there’s two sides to every schwartz. He got the up side, I got the down side.

Let me just say right now: I love Youtube. Every time I see my cable TV bill, I have a little moment where I seriously ask myself why I’m still paying for it. As a child of the Eighties, Youtube is my MTV; it is everything that MTV could have been if, back in the early 90s, someone took a real stand for humanity and said “The Real World, huh? Get the fuck out.” Did you know that MTV still plays videos? They do. Finding them is a little like trying to find your cell phone after you’ve dropped it into that toilet from Trainspotting, but they actually do show videos for a half-hour or so each day. Let’s just say they don’t, it’s easier. But Youtube isn’t just that. It’s also my go-to for my Holy Shit That’s Funnier Than I Remember It Being, my What the Fuck Is Going On Here, the list goes on without the slightly icky feeling of reading a TV Guide. I fucking love it.

Look… there’s a song out there by someone named “Peaches”. The song is called, well, “Fuck The Pain Away”. Now, I’d never heard it before. I’d never even heard of it before. But if you’re going to hear a song called “Fuck The Pain Away”, you might as well hear Miss Piggy sing it, because really, life is too short. Youtube provided this to me the other day. NSFW, obviously.

Youtube has also made available some incredibly clever independent shorts, like here and here, things that you wouldn’t ever find on the ol’ (and it is old, like sagging) boob tube. And to top it off, it singlehandedly made Rick Astley a household name again! So you could say that Youtube is kinda like the Force in that it is truly awesome in many ways. Like this:

Little Green Ninja

Yes, the Star Wars prequels may have been the cinematic equivalent of two midgets having rough sex on your favorite R2-D2 bedsheets, but when it comes to Yoda kicking ass, well… are you going to choose the majestically boring sight of Luke’s X-wing gliding through a smelly bog from Empire or the spastic green fury of Episodes II & III? So there’s your up side.

But there’s always a down side. Yin and yang, light and dark, good and bad, plain and with almonds. Having a nice green lawn but having to spend more money dumping water on it. Being a fan of Jeremy Irons but having to deal with him showing up in stuff like Dungeons & Dragons. Or, my new favorite example, eating a South American fruit called a cherimoya. Some people liken the flavor to a combination of banana, pineapple, and strawberry, or even bubble gum. Doesn’t that sound awesome? But the seeds are poisonous, and the skin can apparently cause paralysis for up to five hours.

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