When D-listers attack

From the “Why Are These People Still Talking?” Dept.: As Democrat Al Franken appears to have a good shot at winning a seat in the Minnesota Senate, another Saturday Night Live alumnus wants America to know that her loyalties lie with the red states.  Victoria Jackson, who somehow managed to remain on SNL for six years without possessing any discernible talent, has stubbornly insisted on remaining in show business ever since, appearing in Sabrina, the Teenage Witch and Larry the Cable Guy’s Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza.  She also apparently became a born-again Christian and, as is often par for the course, completely lost her fucking mind, as is evidenced by her personal website.  In a blog entry that is either brilliant satire or the paranoid rantings of a misinformed lunatic, Jackson explains why she thinks Barack Obama is the wrong choice for President.

I don’t want a political label,  but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti- Christ and I’m scared to death that un- educated people will ignorantly vote him into office.

You see, what bothers me most, besides being a Communist, and a racist (Obama writes in his book, From Dreams of My Father, “I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and and animosity against my (white) mother’s race.”) (Obama’s “religion” of the last 20 years is Black Liberation Theology.  What is that?  “It is simply Marxism dressed up in Christian rhetoric.  But unlike traditional Marxism, Black Liberation Theology emphasizes race rather than class.  It’s leading theorist is James Cone who says Jesus was black, African-Americans are the chosen people, and whites are the devil.  Cone says, “What we need is the destruction of whiteness, which is the source of human misery in the world.”  The McAlvany Intelligence Advisor), is that he is a LIAR.  He pretends to be a Christian and he incriminates himself everytime he speaks about Christianity.  To lie about being a believer in Christ is very dangerous.  Lightning could strike him at any minute!  But seriously, he doesn’t have a clue what the Bible says and yet he pretends to be a church- going Christian to win votes.  That is sooooo evil.

Wow, the last time I heard disjointed rambling of this caliber it was from a guy stumbling around on the subway wearing shoes made out of cardboard and duct tape.  She also goes on to mention that she’s voting for John McCain and Sarah Palin “because my “world view” is based on the belief that The Bible is the inerrant, holy, Word of God, and the Republican stance on abortion, marriage, government control, taxes, education, health care, charity, military, defense, democracy and freedom – lines up closest with the Bible’s message.” Does it now? Clearly I don’t know the Bible as well as Victoria Jackson does, but doesn’t one of the Ten Commandments mention something about “not bearing false witness”? And wouldn’t describing Barack Obama as an evil, racist, phony Christian who wants to bring destruction upon white people be bearing false witness? Is this the kind of person McCain and Palin really need to be speaking on their behalf at this late juncture? Where are all the rational right-wing Christians who don’t actually think Obama has a ‘666’ tattooed on his scalp, but would just rather see McCain in office? As we draw closer to November 4th those select few are curiously quiet.  My guess is they’ve all died of embarrassment.

No doubt FOX News will be calling on Victoria Jackson for an interview any day now, just as they insist on lavishing attention on Stephen Baldwin, another has-been who has taken on his own special brand of deluded, self-serving “born again Christianity,” one that allows him to find a forum for homophobia and other general ignorance.  Perhaps VH-1 can give them a reality show together with Gary Busey, Kirk Cameron and professional wrestler Jake “the Snake” Roberts.  Maybe they can call it Celebrity Jesus Freaks.  Hey, it would be at least as entertaining as Rock of Love, and probably twice as tasteful.

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