Another dispatch from Bizarroworld

As first seen at Shakesville…continuing to redefine “hypocrisy” and “irony,” supporters of Sarah Palin are bawwwing over Newsweek‘s cover story on the Republican vice-presidential candidate this week, accompanied by an extreme closeup photograph depicting Palin looking like…well, an attractive but mostly average looking woman.

Unless you’re very new to Deadly Stealth Frogs, as in, this is the very first post you’re reading here, you’ll know that I’m no fan of Sarah Palin.  Every time I see her on television I make the sign of the evil eye, and I’m not even Italian.  Every opportunity I can find to bash her, I will, and yet, looking at the cover, I see nothing particularly noteworthy about it either way.  It’s not “unflattering,” as FOX’s Andrea Tantaros claims, and it’s definitely not “horrifying,” as Jeff Bercovici claims.  Bercovici is especially apopleptic, to the point that he’s seeing things that aren’t there, including a “faint mustache,” “bloodshot eyes” and “gaping pores.”  I may not have the highest quality laptop monitor, but I’ve looked at the picture numerous times now and I can’t see what the fuck Bercovici is talking about, unless by “faint mustache” he means the fine hairs that, oh, every human being has on his or her upper lip, hairs that may show up in closeup photographs unless those photographs are retouched beyond recognition.  That seems to be the root of Tarantos and Bercovici’s complaints, that Newsweek chose to run the photo of Palin as is, rather than Photoshopping it until she looked like the flawless, Stepford-approved Dream Wife conservatives have been wanking themselves over for the past two months.

Andrea Tarantos, utterly failing to recognize the hilarious irony in her words, states that Palin’s supporters like her because “she’s real,” and thus won’t appreciate seeing a picture that doesn’t necessarily depict her looking her best.  Bzuh? Abort/retry/fail?  It seems to me that showing proof of Palin’s humanity, i.e. some minor wrinkling around her eyes, if anything will win her more supporters.  Seeing some actual evidence of age in her face may at least uphold the illusion that she’s experienced enough for the role of vice-president.  All women fear aging, if Palin is facing it head-on without resorting to plastic surgery (as opposed to Cindy McCain, who looks like she hasn’t changed facial expressions since 1997) it should boost her image as a no-nonsense tough cookie who’s not afraid to run with the boys.  As mentioned previously I don’t buy a huge amount of that “regular gal” hype anyway, but I’m not the demographic being targeted here.

Sarah Palin’s supporters continue to not do her any favors by insisting she’s constantly being victimized by the leftist media, complaints that are grossly rooted in sexism.  Sarah Palin should be treated tenderly and protectively, because she’s a woman? “Unflattering” photographs of her should be doctored for the benefit of those who don’t understand or are repulsed by what happens when a woman ages? You can bet that if Hillary Clinton had gone out of her way to make herself look younger, FOX would have been guffawing like a bunch of 10 year-olds with a whoopie cushion.  Her entire platform has been based upon how “real” she is, how much she’s “just like one of us.”  Where is the sense in bitching about a 44 year-old woman made to look like a 44 year-old woman?  As much as it pains me to compliment her, she looks good for 44.  She has very nice teeth.  The wives of Palin’s beloved “Joe Sixpack” would love to have teeth that white and straight.  They’d love to get to their mid-forties after raising a bunch of kids with only a few crow’s feet around their eyes to show for it.  You don’t see too many women looking like Sarah Palin buying 5-gallon drums of cheez balls at the Wal-Mart, even though she insists that those are her people.  You can’t extol the virtues of how authentic and “real” someone is and then complain when he or she is depicted as looking just like that.  It’s yet another insult to Palin’s constituents: she may be just like you, she just can’t look like you.  “Real” in stark photographic evidence is just too much for our delicate sensibilities to bear.


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