Fear & loathing in 2008

The state of the world as it is right now, it’s hard to maintain my writing here at the same pissy, disgruntled yet ultimately humorous level it’s been at since Deadly Stealth Frogs began.  It’s not that I’m running out of things to write about, old targets will continue doing stuff that gets my blood boiling and new targets are always to be found.  No, this is an entirely different, far more challenging issue, at least on a personal level: I’m finding it increasingly difficult to find the humor in the major situations we’re facing as Americans right now.  Shorter Radcliffe: this shit just isn’t funny anymore.  The economic crisis has already led to a murder-suicide, as well as the attempted suicide of a 90 year-old woman facing foreclosure on her home, you can bet they won’t be the last.  People get scared when they lose their livelihood, when they’re trapped in a corner with no easy escape.  Republicans and Democrats wasting time arguing over who’s to blame rather than finding a solution isn’t helping anyone pay their overdue mortgage or put any money towards their kids’ Christmas presents.

The truth is, I’m scared.  I’m scared of the far-reaching effects this is going to have.  I’m scared of how much worse things are going to get before it even starts to get any better.  I think my job is pretty safe right now, but who knows where it’ll be six months from now? I have loved ones who work in banking, in insurance, I fear for them.  Their industries are already taking huge hits.  I don’t know how to express this kind of fear without coming off as childish and melodramatic.  This is likely a post I would have been better off making on my personal journal, but you know, I had a goal in mind of making even just a short post here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday without fail (though I’ll probably take off the week of Christmas, mark your calendars!).  Deadly Stealth Frogs has a small but seemingly loyal readership, I’m manning the helm while the other half of the creative team here is indisposed and I want to maintain the same quality level of writing that said readership enjoys.  But I’m scared, man, and I don’t know any better or more eloquent way of stating that.  I think a lot of you are too, and we need to remind ourselves that it’s okay, that it makes sense to be scared.  Maybe not the kind of scared that has us hysterically running through the streets yelling “YOU’RE NEXT! YOU’RE NEXT!” or hiding in a bomb shelter with twelve dozen cases of Dinty Moore beef stew.  There is that kind of scared, however, that makes you want to hide in your bed, wishing that your grandmom was there to pat your head and tuck you in with one of those scratchy, olive green and orange afghans all grandmothers seem to have.  My grandmother is gone now, been gone almost ten years.  It’s probably for the best.  But I miss her a lot, especially when I’m scared.

I’m scared for what next month will bring.  I’m scared of how many racist, ignorant cracker-ass motherfuckers McCain and Palin have on their side, and how much hate crime against African-Americans is going to increase should Obama be elected.  I’m scared to know how many people who think like that really exist, even if they’re not all stupid enough to get recorded issuing death threats at a political rally.  I know, because I grew up with those people.  There’s your smalltown values for you.  I’m scared of what would happen if Obama isn’t elected, what sort of impact this is going to have on foreign policy, women’s rights, gay rights, etcetera, etcetera.  Etcetera.  I don’t pretend for a second to have the answers to anything.  I merely sit here behind the safety of a computer screen, making my pithy remarks, passing judgment, and hoping that maybe Britney Spears falls down and shows her vag or something equally ridiculous that the media can turn its attentions to, returning the world to merely absurd rather than terrifying.

This is likely the most personal you’ll ever see me get on this thing, and I do apologize.  I just didn’t know where to start today, so I started with fear.

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