Be a lesbian now, ask me how!

Going outside of my usual posting schedule, but I just couldn’t let this story go unremarked upon.  Consider it a Hump Day bonus!

A 31 year-old woman was kicked out of a California Social Security office for wearing a t-shirt with the phrase “Lesbian.com” on it.  A security guard assigned at the office but employed by a private company was apparently so offended by Lapriss Gilbert’s t-shirt, which only featured the word “lesbian” on it, as opposed to a depiction of two women engaging in cunnilingus, that he demanded she leave immediately before burning out anyone else’s retinas.  Happily, Gilbert was allowed to reenter the building shortly thereafter, and a spokesperson for the office spoke out against the guard’s action.  However, one cannot help noticing the very first line in the AP report about the incident reprinted at news outlets such as the Fresno Bee and NBC San Diego.

A woman wearing a T-shirt promoting lesbianism said she was forced the leave a federal building in Van Nuys by a security guard who didn’t approve of her attire.

A woman wearing a t-shirt promoting lesbianism…

A woman wearing a t-shirt promoting lesbianism…

A woman wearing a t-shirt promoting lesbianism…

A bafflingly poor choice of words, or are we still viewing homosexuality as something that is “promoted”? Does anyone really think that Lapriss Gilbert left her house that day wearing the lesbian.com t-shirt in the hopes that some impressionable young female college student would approach her and say “I’d like to know more about this…’lesbian.’  What does it mean? Can you tell me more?” Then perhaps Gilbert could take the girl back to the secret Dyke Recruitment bunker, no doubt hidden underneath an LL Bean store, strap her to a chair Clockwork Orange-style, then make her watch all five seasons of The L Word and listen to the Indigo Girls on continuous loop until she cuts off all her hair and starts wearing flannel shirts and workboots.

Seriously, folks.  Seriously? “Promoting lesbianism”? Just to make sure, though, because this is a respectable publication and I believe in checking all my sources, I took a peek at lesbian.com.  It is in fact a website pertaining to lesbian issues, and doesn’t promote anything other than the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and match.com (which, as opposed to eharmony.com, does allow gay users).  One can assume you’d already have to be a lesbian to really get anything useful out of it.  Nothing there about pyramid schemes in which you’re supposed to turn someone into a lesbian, and they turn two more people into lesbians, and they both turn two people into lesbians, and then so on until you make enough new lesbians to win a set of steak knives.

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