How not to sell your book, by Jerome Corsi
Hi, I’m Jerome Corsi. You may recognize my name from such inflammatory publications as The Late Great USA: the Coming Merger With Mexico and Canada and Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry. My new book is The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality, and I don’t want to sell a single copy to anyone who isn’t a mindless, toothless redneck. Here’s how I’m making that happen, and how you can do it too!
STEP ONE: include in your book many false statements that can be easily disproved. In my book, I claimed that Barack Obama’s Hawaii-issued birth certificate may be falsified, a claim that was immediately denied by the Hawaii Department of Health. See, this is something that could have been verified by pretty much anyone with a telephone and a fax machine, but I wrote this thinking people would see the “Ph.D” at the end of my name and automatically figure I knew what the fuck I was talking about. I also basically made shit up about what Obama wrote in his memoir, Dreams From My Father, including stating that he didn’t dedicate the book to his family (though he did), he didn’t mention the birth of a half-sister in 1970 (though he did) and he didn’t specifically mention when he had stopped using marijuana (though he did). This is especially effective, because it suggests I’m citing material that I didn’t actually read, and makes my book not worth the paper on which it’s printed. But hey, to quote the great Ronald Reagan, facts are stupid things.
STEP TWO: be sure to beat a dead horse. And when you’ve beaten that horse into the ground, dig it up and beat it again. In Obama Nation, I offer a single source as proof that Barack Obama was once a Muslim–a childhood friend who saw him wear a sarong. A sarong, my god, he might as well have been kidnapping Christian babies and drinking their blood. This childhood friend would later claim that he didn’t actually know Obama all that well, and not one other person who grew up with him has backed up the Muslim claim, but whatevs, right?
STEP THREE: skip the respectable media outlets and go right to the racist scumfucks to promote your book. Listen carefully, as this is an advanced technique, and should not be attempted by amateurs. Since I know that not even a lot of Republicans are going to buy this load of horseshit I put out, I have to reach out to a special audience. On August 17th, I’m appearing on the aptly named Political Cesspool Radio Show, hosted by James Edwards. Political Cesspool is a dying breed, a show proudly based on a “pro-White” platform (because we whites have to stick together!) that has a darling list of “principles,” the first of which is that the United States is a Christian country. Edwards hates blacks, Jews, women and homosexuals, he uses phrases like “white genocide” and supports Holocaust deniers–by golly, I think we’ve hit the jackpot! This guy makes Rush Limbaugh look like Keith Olbermann! My book will be piling up on clearance racks and in remainder bins in no time.
Shooting yourself in the foot is fun, isn’t it? Tell me what you think by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and get started on your own worthless “expose” today!
NOTE: Yr. Pal thanks Media Matters for America for the scoop on Jerome Corsi, as well as his contact information, and politely requests that if you do decide to e-mail him, please keep it respectful. He’s already going with the lowest common denominator, no need to sink to that level.