Mission accomplished!

Republican presidential nominee Mr. Potter John McCain optimistically predicts that we’ll be done totally fucking things up in Iraq by 2013.

The Iraq War has been won. Iraq is a functioning democracy, although still suffering from the lingering effects of decades of tyranny and centuries of sectarian tension. Violence still occurs, but it is spasmodic and much reduced…it’s not a timetable, it’s victory. It’s victory, which I have always predicted.

Let’s do a little numbers comparison. Remember, kids, there will be a test on this.

  • Revolutionary War: 8 years
  • War of 1812: 3 years
  • Civil War: 4 years
  • Spanish American War: under 1 year
  • World War I: 2 years
  • World War II: 4 years
  • Korean War: 3 years (less than a third as long as M*A*S*H lasted!)
  • Vietnam Conflict: 12 years

Come on, guys, we can drag this out another additional two years, and then we’ll be tied for the biggest, most shameless waste of money and human life in American military history! TOGETHER, WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN, VOTE MCCAIN IN ’08.



One Response to “Mission accomplished!”

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